Ceaser’s Poison

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It sucks, it really sucks when someone changes so badly and that someone whom you consider your life. Life had already taught me a lesson before but like a bitch I feel I’m again back to the same fucking track. I hate myself for that. I really do. I want to change myself, I wanna be rude, I wannabe impatient, I wanna scream but I feel so trapped. When you feel life is perfect, you don’t need anything beyond…always something or the other proves me wrong. My resolution was not to trust anyone long ago but I never worked on it. I won’t blame anyone else except myself. I hate myself so badly. I’m just scared that one day a day will come when I’ll kill myself cause of the guilt in me. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t deserve this after what I do for someone. I know right now I don’t stand anywhere but the feeling that someone is always there fro me is diminishing in me. I feel so alone right now. Maybe he feels I’m overreacting but deep inside even he knows how much I love him. it never used to happen like this before. Nowadays every fucking day we fight. I cry, I cry my heart out for really stupid things, I can’t help it. I feel suffocated. I feel someone is trying to bury me alive. I’ve made myself so dependent on him, he tells me he is very emotionally weak and stuff but I’m much more weaker than him. I miss my parents so much.Crying face I feel like an alien out here. I wanna go back, I wanna go back, I badly wanna go back. I hate ‘”ego”. It is the only thing that destroys everything. I’m so fucked up right now.

-Ceaser!

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