I’m a Peaceful Person who Happens to be Filled with Violent Rage

Well to start off…it’s the first of this kind! Haven’t really tried jotting down my thoughts but somehow I did manage to give it a shot…hoping that it goes on and on and keeps on going because trust me feels heaven writing down what’s in my mind! Its more sort of a frustration or perhaps some issues that I haven’t been able to talk to with anyone. As its famously known, don’t tell your problems and issues to anyone…80% don’t really care about it and 20% are glad that you have them!

The major inspiration to start this addiction was a person who has inspired me a great deal. Yeah his name’s Mr. Madhusudhan! Teaches me Math…lol! What a great person! The way he speaks, it just gets you out of any bizarre situation…for that matter even when you are attending a boring Math class which he is taking on a Sunday afternoon! A true, humongous and a special personality this man is! Bloody filthy teachers of this country should learn the art of teaching from him or rather the art of being a teacher. Ahhh…no offence Mrs. Kar and Mrs. Nitya. He makes Math look so easy and simple further making my life simple and flawless. Just when you started thinking he’s just a Math teacher, you’re gone wrong! The “Man” is just awesome at verbal too…helps me out with it after every boring stupid Math class. Whoa…just when I started thinking that I was deviating from my topic I just realized that I should probably stick back to it. Honestly telling, right now I’m just taking out my frustration and trust me folks…it’s the best way to get rid off it! Puke it out! I’m so relieved right now! The thoughts are just flying high over my head to what all I should write down to make my blog look special, different and attractive! Hats off to you Madhu sir…you’re the “Man”, because of you…I feel different! Amby…you’re always on my mind, make me feel special all the time! I love you.

As I see it, I’ve been feeling weird off late…reason being, ahhh honestly speaking…IDK! But I feel weird, stupid and most importantly frustrated! One thing’s for sure…my college time table and the so called superb faculty are the main reasons behind this! Please note that I’m sarcastic when I say superb faculty of NHCE…what a bunch of douche bags! Seriously…pisses me off! This is how it began…superb college, superb teachers and superb rules that you gotta follow when you enter the campus! “Don’t forget the Sarcasm”…claims to be Rank 2! My take on that…utter bullshit! Nothing but a big show off. Days have gone by but nothing has changed, in fact things have gone out of control…I fell so horrible to come down so strongly on this but trust me…the place is full of cheapsters. You can find them anywhere and everywhere, includes many students too!

I’m an Art of Living devotee…I’ve been taught really well to tackle such kinda situations but now that I’m myself frustrated and feel like giving up I’ve no choice but to do something to make me feel happy! All the events occurring lately have just made me so bloody violent that I can set the whole place on fire! Maybe another Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Its just not me, even the teachers…sensible ones I’m talking about, just hate the place! Now that gives me peace. I feel supported! Just waiting desperately to finish off my degree here and I’m done for once and for all!

I love peace and crave for it everywhere I can but things happening around me have just ignited this violent rage in me. The only thing I can think off is mass destruction and the ideas with which I can do it. Oh god…holy shit I wanna do something really violent but I know I wont be able to. Its like I’m just discovering a whole new side of mine…OMG I’ve this thing too in me! Dude…WOW! No matter how hard I try to avoid this violent streak, I just can’t! Its exactly like…it doesn’t really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist’s chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on. Have to face it! No other go.

The torment of human frustration, whatever its immediate cause, is the knowledge that the self is in prison, its vital force and ‘mangled mind’ leaking away in lonely, wasteful self-conflict. Honestly speaking, I have had just about all I can take of myself…can’t take anymore! But I see no way that I can avoid it. Troubles and me…lol special bond! I invite them with me wherever I go. People need trouble, a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do! I don’t mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy and I’m proud to be a vegetarian! WOW! Sue you animal eaters.

So that’s how it is…I’m frustrated and trying to come over it all I can! Well, my first blog and I actually wrote so much. Not bad! Its coming…so many of them! I’m so gonna write blogs from now on! I feel so happy right now. Some special people not only change your but become your life…I have some of them too…I love you Maa and I love you Amby! And how can I forget you Bruno! Thanks for making my life worth living for! Love you guys.

Hey don’t start thinking that I’m not peaceful! I’m peaceful with little violence and I’m working on it! Will get rid off it soon but one thing’s for sure…that day isn’t coming until I graduate!

Gonna write again really soon!Smile



8 thoughts on “I’m a Peaceful Person who Happens to be Filled with Violent Rage

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